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Dear Virgin, Don’t Cry, Here Is What You Expect From Your First Time

Dear virgin,

You’re probably bothered that you’re new to campus life and sex has become part and parcel of you. Yes, no more uniform and there’s more boys in your class! Good bye high school, hello to campus life!
Or maybe…. You’re looking forward to other intakes; however, you aren’t exposed to sex and the fear for the first time is just petrifying. Here is what to expect for the first time you have sex:

Will it hurt? We have been told tales how losing your virginity is painful. Also, what you have learned about the hymen, a tissue that lines the opening of the vagina is that it is supposed to tear. If it tears, it’s supposed to hurt… right?


Before you even have intercourse, you should know that you might have lost your virginity from strenuous exercises, use of tampons or even masturbation. Well, while popping the cherry, it will feel like a little pinch and also, one can be expected to bleed.


The first time is quite uncomfortable, often because it is a nervous or anxious moment, it can be hard for the woman to self-lubricate, and that’s what can make intercourse more uncomfortable or even painful. Along with this, the muscles can tense up and add to the discomfort.

Invest in foreplay and any other means that will make the area of penetration easier to go about, or look into using water-based lubricants.
So, try out different positions, doing whatever feels comfortable; if it hurts, switch it up and communicate with your partner.


Should I tell him that I’m a virgin? If you’re worried about disclosing your virginity, you can always make it clear to your partner that you’re inexperienced instead. This way you’re partner knows how you feel. There is no need of explaining your virginity to your partner if you don’t want to. It is true anyway that you are inexperienced.

Talk to your partner. Let him know!

Talk to your partner. Let him know!


Will I have the big ‘O’? Forget about the sex scenes in movies and have real expectations. It’s generally not common for women to have orgasms with intercourse, and most don’t. The reasoning behind this is that the vaginal canal isn’t the most sensitive area, and so it’s more common for women to orgasm when other areas, such as the clitoris, are stimulated. Girls! This is why foreplay is important!
While you are at it, it is important to learn your body and know what ticks as it is important to tell your partner where needs arousal.


Use contraceptives.

Use contraceptives.

What should I do about contraceptives? This should be the first on the list. Whether it’s female or male condoms or birth control pills. Protect your body against sexually transmitted diseases and infections. You can find inexpensive female condoms at any local drugstore. It’s always smart to have backup in case things get heated and he doesn’t have protection on him!

And what if your worst nightmare comes true? The condom broke. Just don’t forget to take your birth control pill within 72 hours of having sex.

What if I’m feeling anxious?
Be comfortable with your body and with your partner. Get to know yourself and don’t have unrealistic expectations, so that when you’ve done it, you can say, ‘Okay, that was the first time! Now I can learn more about it and be less nervous the next time, if you expect it to be perfect, of course you are going to feel disappointment


Lavender Eshuchi


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